Casual dating, Flings, Friends with Benefits; The ins and out for navigating these relationships.
- Deborah Ope
- Jul 7, 2019
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 24, 2019
There is nothing new under the sun and the same goes with non-committed relationships. Now flings, casual relationships, situation-ships and friends with benefits all fall under the same umbrella of a non-committed relationship.
The most important rule about these types of relationships is that you do not make assumptions without a conversation. Communication is key! It's ironically simple to say but difficult to do.
The break down
Fling
This is by far probably the easiest to navigate and understand. It is sexual and sometimes romantic relationship between two individuals. Its longer than a hookup and the duration or length of the relationship is usually easily foreseen as most flings are more likely to occur during an 'open-windowed' time such as summer vacations, spring breaks, Christmas holiday, stay-cations or any time created holiday. Once the break or vacation is over, usually so is the fling however, if both parties are still interested in each other and are on the same page it can evolve into something more. Some relationships started out as flings and kept progressing, however it's important not to get ahead of yourself, take an easy pace. The best thing about flings is just living in the moment and making memories that you could keep no matter the outcome. (Flashback to some summer flings when you were a teenager...the memories!)
Situation-ship
I'll start off by saying this is not the 'ship' or status to have. It is usually a trap. A situation-ship is a romantic relationship with two people that has all the signs of an official relationship but without the status. It holds all the boundaries of an official monogamous relationship in that it feels like both partners have a large amount of investment in it however it is a pseudo-relationship in that it is not real. The main problem with situation-ships is that neither party, or at least one, is not willing to take the leap and move forward in taking the relationship to the next step and involves all the wrong types of communication. Situation-ships are hard but it's important to grow a back bone and speak up for what you want. Don't be afraid to leave or leap forward, failure to act is what puts people in a situation-ship in the first place.
Friends with benefits
We hear about this all the time. Friends with benefits or no strings attached is a relationship between two or more people who are only together for the main purpose of hooking up. There is no romantic involvement, it can be between friends although it is not recommended because the most important rule is not to catch feelings. Of course, it requires communication mostly with the logistics of hooking up and if you're sadly friends with your FWB, to also ensure that you can maintain that friendship status during and after the relationship ends (It's important not to be an asshole). If you're not friends with the person it may seem like a cold relationship to be in with minimal communication and no attachments whatsoever. It pretty much ranges from a three letter text at 2am in the morning depending on how you spell the word 'you' and 'up', to Netflix and chill sessions that mostly occur at night or on weekends. If you're trying to figure out if this is the relationship for you or if you're already in one, I recommend reading,
The 10 Commandments To Being Friends With Benefits on Elite Daily.
Casual relationship
Now this is where it gets tricky. We know that casual dating is literally what it states, dating people casually to see where it goes or what you like without commitment. However, to be in a casual relationship is honestly what you make of it and decide with your partner. People have different takes on it but for me a casual relationship involves people, sometimes friends, who agree to be sexually and maybe even romantically involved with each other. There are no clear cut or long term rules that make up this type of relationship and the weight that it carries is up to you. Casual relationships require probably the most communication even more than a regular romantic relationship because when you look at a romantic relationship there are already set boundaries and understanding, plus knowing your partner, you have the gist of what they expect. However, with a casual relationship nothing is clear or obvious so communication is essential in setting out the structure and expectations of the relationship. It is very important to be on the same page with each other in all areas such as making it clear that it will not lead to a committed relationship if that's what you want, whether you will have other partners and how many, and lastly whether you intend to exclusively only see each other while maintaining an 'unofficial' status. Starting to sound confusing yet? This is why it requires communication and reiteration from time to time. Casual relationship can be difficult and are honestly not for the faint-hearted but people easily fall into them and don't lay out the ground rules. I'll say that the underlining difference that separates a casual relationship from a friends with benefits is that a casual relationship may a hold an acute commitment if both partners agree on it while a friends with benefits has completely no strings attached or exclusivity.
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