Catch & Release

If you've ever gone fishing there's this slow and eager anticipation that surrounds the atmosphere before eventually getting your first catch. Afterwards the excitement depreciates, and the practice of preserving the fish is followed by casting the fish back into the water unharmed. Rinse and repeat, completely unharmed. There's some debate to that but I'm to relate this practice to the joy that exists in the beginning of a new relationship. Not to sound cold or completely unemotional because I'm actually a romantic and I tend to love deeply and assume all the risks.

But call it the law of diminishing marginal utility or depreciation, I find that I tend to enjoy the beginning of relationships the most. Everything isn’t perfect but it’s brand new and there’s a significant amount of effort and attention held by each party. In it you're able to see hope with all the excitement gathered around it despite not knowing much about each other. I suppose it's the not knowing at first that's alluring and slowly you start to see the other person's quirks and there's so many possibilities that could arise. It’s like during those moments there’s no question that the person is interested in you because there's a growing intensity that could create room for more or less. You don’t know how deep each other's feelings run because it's new or if they'll ever go deeper but there's no disputing that something is there.

Then time goes, we start to get comfortable and more familiar the person. What seemed like a dance between two people who just had rhythm but didn't know the steps, slowly comes to a stop. You start to see more of the flaws in the other person and you don’t know if those flaws makes the person like you less or you the other. We've all observed the point when someone stops putting in as much effort or works less to impress you. It can be as simple as no longer offering to do things for you, offering you a glass of water to make sure you're okay or not asking to spend as much time with you. Ultimately the line becomes blurred as to whether they try less because there’s an established familiarity or if it's because it's too comfortable so they’re losing interest and slowly pulling away. This is usually the point where you can formulate what will become of the relationship as it can grow into something more or gradually fade away. Call it courting, talking, hanging out or casual dating before you reach the point where you're 'going steady' (Throwback to the late 90's and early 2000's) depending on the main goal or premise of the relationship. There's a lot more attention and swooning before you reach the next phase.

It could be because of life experiences, but it would be a lot easier to release and move on. Wouldn't it? As a business major in college, I took EC101 and when talking about the law of diminishing marginal utility, my professor described it as an exponential depreciation graph. Take a can of coke that you really like and consume, with each additional can that is consumed, the benefit or satisfaction gained declines. I would find it hard to believe that anyone in any type of relationship would be pleased hear about their shared experience in said relationship be described as a 'diminished utility'. It would be easier to avoid all the drama by not getting invested.

In reality the decision to make an investment is all just fear based concerns and attitudes. I may seem utopic in my ideals but that's the beauty that comes with all of it, with friendships and relationships, which is that you allow yourself the opportunity and vulnerability to be open to happiness regardless of the outcome. Allow room for all the quirks and flaws because with time, it could be those little things, good, bad or a little on the scale of weird that you might turn to for value or comfort. Whether it's reciprocated or unrequited, allowing yourself to assume all the risks is a manifestation of freedom and self-worth, knowing that you do not need anything in return to feel whole. There's a certain beauty you can take from the experience whether the song ends or not. However, it takes a lot of growth and strength to get to this point which is why it's important to build healthy boundaries because there will be some good days and some days. I do believe that there are persons (not singular) out there each person that will be in sync with their vibration and energy.

"When you allow yourself to be "in love" with another, what you experience actually is feeling the energy of your own love."

––Maryam Hasnaa